So, this shit is gold.

Boing Boing:

Sogen Kato was believed to be the oldest man in Tokyo. Officials heading out to congratulate him on his 111th birthday, however, met not an ancient gent but a corpse, mummified in his own bed for perhaps 30 years.

You can’t make this shit up. Oh world, you are so fantastical. You have to imagine the bummer it is to waste a perfectly good cake, you know? I don’t know about the economy over in Japan, but I mean, eggs ain’t cheap, yo.

Source: Gamefan84 via Boing Boing

And I thought Jesus playing Hawkeye was epic.

Source: Comics Alliance

My love for awesome nerdy shoes that I can’t wear because of my mammoth feet is well documented. First there were Bioshock kicks. Then Iron Man sneakers. And now these DC-themed Converse efforts in sexiness that will never fit my enormo-toes.

Hit the jump for the rest of the gorgeous line of shoes.

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Source: Boing Boing

[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the newest developments of Don Draper and his ragtag group of cohorts. In the spirit of the show, it will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]

Season four of Mad Men has finally arrived! Thank the Maker! I thought this day would never dawn (or is that, Don?), but alas, here we are!

Okay, time for a minor confession – I’ve only recently gotten into AMC’s hit. And by recently, I mean that I watched the first three seasons in a span of about three weeks.  The exploits of Madison Avenue’s finest have captivated me in a way that no show has for about five years. And by captivated, I mean that I’ve spent hours in front of my glowing televisor-box, jamming cereal into my face and drooling over Jon Hamm.

Hey mister, don’t pass that judgment-crud on me! As a teacher, it’s my goddamn right to enjoy the summer any way that I see fit. In a month’s time, I’ll be back to raising your kids for you and weeping. So for the present, I read the books I’m actually interested in and I watch DVDs.

Anyways, the fourth season’s premiere pushes the narrative forward about a year. This time has been quite eventful for Mr. Draper, with long-lasting consequences burrowing their way into all facets of his life.

Professionally, Don has helped launch the new agency (Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce – doesn’t that just sound fantastic?!) into a realm of legitimacy, getting them out of a hotel room and into actual offices. The environment isn’t quite as splendid as it was in years past, but there is a sense that work is being done for the right reasons.

For example, the episode sees Don trying to satisfy the desires of a client whose primary business is two-piece bathing suits. I’m paraphrasing, but the eventual pitch goes something like this:

Don: Hey yo, check it – sex sells. If you cleverly suggest that your bathing suit is revealing, without actually showing anything even remotely inappropriate , you will make a ton of cash. Like, boatloads.

Client: Ah, yeah….See, we’re a family-friendly company. Although our products are skimpy bathing suits, we don’t want that to be mentioned or referred to at all.

Don: Oh, I see. You can feel free to get the fugg out of my office.

Draper clearly has the foresight to understand that sexual intimation is going to sell. In fact, it’s going to be the way of the future. By not caving into the ineptitude of his client, the man is able to stand his ground in defense of a marketing campaign he thinks will be successful. And when this campaign is scoffed at, he sends the client packing.

Yes, he’s working in the morally grey field of marketing – but within that field, Don Draper is fighting for business integrity. The creative ideas that will actually work.

Moreover, Don also does his best to right a wrong for the betterment of his agency. After rocking his typical mysterio act with a reporter, Draper is dismayed to find an unfavorable article written about him in an advertising magazine. Never one to sit around and pout, the leading man takes it upon himself to delivery a stellar performance to a representative of the Wall Street Journal. He declares, “Last year, our agency was being swallowed whole. I realized I had two choices: I could die of boredom or holster up my guns.”

Goddamn. He’s so cool.

In terms of his personal life, however, `ole Dick Whitman could be doing better. He and Betty are divorced – a result of his ex-wife’s lusting for Henry Francis during season three. He goes on a date at the behest of Roger Sterling, finds himself interested in the girl, but is unable to seal the deal. He spends Thanksgiving with a prostitute who honored his request to repeatedly slap him during sex (kinky even by Draper’s standards). And most heartbreakingly, when Don wants to spend time with his children, he has to pick them up from his old house, the place that his ex-wife and her new man call home.

Fugg.

But even with all the aforementioned excitement, my favorite parts of this episode revolved around the supporting cast. Pete, despite his often malicious disposition, seems earnest and excited. Perhaps being invited to the new agency has finally pushed him into good guy territory (or perhaps I’m overly optimistic). Peggy cooks up a scheme that involves hiring actresses to fight over a ham in a supermarket, thereby garnering attention for the client that produces said pork-product. There’s new guy Joey! He seems like kind of a doofus, but is just happy to be there! He and Peggy seem like good chums, riffing back and forth on an old Stan Freberg bit.

Maybe this is the stuff I really love about Mad Men. And maybe that’s why last night’s episode left me wanting more. Don’t get me wrong, I love the context that has been created and appreciate that we’ve been given glimpses into the lives of many characters. But I’m ready to see the full picture. How’s Sterling’s marriage going? How about Joan’s? Is Cooper still ill? What about Pryce, how is he settling into the role of partner? Does Sally want to bitch-slap Betty? Is Henry Francis really a sleaze or does he sympathize with Don on some level?

And what about all the characters whose fate we’re currently unsure of – you know, all the people that got left behind at Sterling Cooper? How did Kinsey make out – is he still working in advertising or has he finally started writing and smoking Mary Jane full time? What about Cosgrove? Hell, who’s looking after the Xerox machine?

I have so many questions, but then again, that’s probably by design. I suppose if you walk away from a season premiere knowing everything, then it’s probably a good indication that a writer is going to be fired. But the overture has sounded and I’m ready. Dim the lights, find your seat, and get ready for sonic beauty.

Or, in this case, television at its absolute finest.

The most pressing comics-issue on my mind as of late has been What’re they going to do with Bruce Wayne when he returns? Fortunately, my fears that Grayson would have to return to his gig as Nightwing have been assuaged. Apparently, Bruce isn’t going to reclaim the cowl for himself, but share it with his former ward.

[via comicsalliance]

…Grant Morrison’s run on DC’s most popular character enters its fourth year in a comic titled “Batman, Inc.” slated for November with frequent Morrison collaborator Yanick Paquette (“Seven Solders: Bulleteer,” “Return of Bruce Wayne”) , as revealed on the “Batman: The Return” panel at San Diego Comic-Con.

While Grant Morrison kept mum on explaining exactly what the series is about, he did say that he looked to two interesting things for inspiration: “The Brave & the Bold” cartoon and the Johnny DC comic books. He likes seeing Batman teaming up with other people and wants to bring some of that flavor in the new series. Morrison explained that “[i]n ‘[Batman] R.I.P.’ you got to find out what happens when you take Bruce Wayne out of the equation. ['Batman, Inc.'] is what happens when Bruce is more in the equation and what he does with the Batman idea and how he turns it into a franchise… Everything in [Batman's] operation is about to change.”

A careful reading of Morrison’s run thus far suggests that, as foreshadowed in “Batman” #666, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson are going to be sharing the cape and cowl while Damian Wayne remains Robin. This means that the Dynamic Duo is more of a Terrific Trio, though exactly how their identities and relationships will work out will not be known “The Return of Bruce Wayne” and “Batman: The Return” finish their run.

So, two Batmen and a Robin? Count me in. If this is really the route they’re going, I think DC has just perfectly parried Marvel’s reintegration of Steve Rogers into the 616.

Gotham City might see caped crusaders of quite different capabilities running about. Just imagine the combinations…

Source: Boing Boing

No less than three-thousand people have pointed this out to me, and that can only mean one thing: in internet years, it’s a million-billion years old. Whatever, it’s still amazing.

This footage is from a bank in Long Island, and if I was getting robbed there, I hope I would have the respect to clap, if not at the least stand at attention and await my Force choking.

I have to admit that he didn’t use a more elegant weapon, for a more civilized age. Lord Vader, if you get caught, it’s on yourself for using such a clumsy and random weapon. You douche.

According to the rumor I just started, the Miami Heat have acquired the most amazing free agent in the history of professional sports.

The original Mortal Kombat fatalities goes papercraft in this Youtube video. I love the fact that these classic deaths are still firmly entrenched in the cultural consciousness of my generation, and talented people are finding new ways of representing these beautiful impressions of paper-bound mortality.

Hit the jump and watch some glorious paper deaths.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Spoilers Ahead. Forreal.

Sometime ago, Marvel unleashed an event on the Spider-Man universe called One More Day. This story essentially undid years and years of continuity and character development; in exchange for Aunt May’s life, Peter Parker and Mary Jane agree to allow Mephisto to retcon their lives any way he sees fit. Of course, he makes it so that they were never married.

Fugging hogwash.

For the most part, I feel that rewriting character history is a dangerous endeavor. By saying This and that and the other thing never happened, a writer is basically tossing out the stories that fans have spent years reading. The characters don’t really develop and readers can pretty much count on future tales coming to similar conclusions.

I’m going to pause for a second, to add some counterbalance to my tirade. I’m not opposed to reboots or reimaginings of all sorts. In fact, I think that harnessing fresh perspectives to relaunch franchises can lead to products that are better than the originals (see: Battlestar Galactica, The Dark Knight, etc.). But what I can’t stomach is the constant rehashing of tried-and-true formulas.

So Peter Parker and MJ aren’t together anymore? Years of marriage thrown out the window? A new opportunity for the two lovebirds to go through the rigors of courtship and be rejoined once again? Did anyone expect this to not lead to them getting back together again?

Truthfully, I haven’t read any Spider-Man titles since 2007; I’ve just been too turned off by the aforementioned turn of events. But at the comics shop today I saw that the first issue of One Moment in Time had come out. And I’ve decided to get back on board.

At first, and I admit this is due to nothing other than my own wishful thinking, I thought this event would be about undoing that which was undone. Wait, huh? Yeah, I guess I was just hoping that Amazing Spider-Man #638 would return readers to a state blissful Parker/Watson matrimony. We could all pat each other on the back, have a good laugh, and then say “Well, now that the foregone conclusion has been arrive at, fun new shit can happen.”

Hell, maybe Peter Parker has to reveal his identity to the public. Oh, wait.

Alas, this is not the case. Amazing Spider-Man #638 begins an arc in which we see what happened to prevent Parker and MJ from getting married. So, all we’re doing is going back and getting a glimpse of how Mephisto’s evil plan unfolded. Instead of righting the wrongs of the last three years and catching the story up-to-speed, One Moment in Time seems more focused on explaining how the shit hit the fan.

Hrm.

While I’m not terribly enthused about delaying the inevitable lovers’ reunion, I do think this story is being handled with novelty. Joe Quesada is writing an amendment to Spider-Man Annual #21, inserting changes and variations that thereby alter the wedding featured in the classic issue.

As Mary Jane and Peter think back to that day, pages of the 1987 Wedding Special appear. At the very least, I’m interested by the interweaving of what was once canon with the new twist. Some may see this technique as a affront to the work of the team that put together that comic, but I think Quesada may actually be paying tribute. Instead of having it been blinked out of existence, he is sharing portions of the original with a whole new generation of readers.

Fortunately, this issue ends in present-day with Peter and Mary Jane appearing none-too-thrilled, deflated by the reminiscing about their unfulfilled love. Again, I can’t say that I agree with this dancing around the obvious, the reveling in stagnant narrative waters. With that being said, this issue has provided food for thought and piqued my interest in Spider-Man for the first time in years.

That’s a small little victory.

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Before we depart, I present some pictorial evidence. Some couples, fictional or otherwise, are just meant to be. Hopefully it won’t be too long before Mary Jane and Peter are be back together, picking up where editors forced them to leave off.