Archive for the ‘Pop Culture’ Category

Wake Up!

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Good morning! To all the dudes and babes that stumble onto the den of iniquity that is OL — welcome to Wednesday. For some, this means that this cycle of the forty-hour work-week is halfway finished. Hang in there. For others, Wednesday means the release of sweet, sweet paneled pages.

Me? I’m trying to enjoy February vacation. Unfortunately, I’ve risen before noon for the third day in a row. Damn my conditioning. Therefore, I’m pounding coffee like Bill Murray in Delirium (as seen above) and hoping something spectacular happens.

Now that you’ve woken up, what does Wednesday mean for you?

Han Knows Leia Loves Him

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

Han Loves Leia

Happy Valentine’s Day

Don’t give me the standard “Uggh, Valentine’s Day, it’s completely made-up” argument. Yeah, it’s completely fabricated. As is every holiday (Wha? Jesus wasn’t born in snow-covered manger on December 25th?!?).

If you’ve managed to fool someone into loving you, spend some time with `em today. If you don’t have anyone special in your life, go find someone.

And if you’re going to sit inside sulking all day, at least eat a heart-shaped box of chocolates. The shape makes the candy taste better (it’s been proven – by science).

To get you in the mood, a love song:

Watchmen 2 Be Desecrated

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Watchmen 2

If Ben Kenobi didn’t make his noble sacrifice, he’d be sensing an unprecedented disturbance in the Force right now – as though millions of geeks were crying out, only to be silenced.

Word started spreading today that Dan DiDio, Executive Douchebag of DC Comics, is going ahead with plans to publish multiple series and projects based on Watchmen. Apparently Paul Levitz, former Decent Publisher and Respectful Fellow of DC Comics, had repeatedly turned down proposals to create spin-offs based on Watchmen out of a respect for Alan Moore (the kook/genius responsible for writing the series). Now that Levitz is out of the picture, DiDio is willing to cash-in on the DC-owned property, with nary a regard for the wishes of its original creators.

I believe that Watchmen is the greatest fictional narrative I have ever experienced, a perfect work of unparalleled excellence. As such, I understand that any attempts to capitalize on its reputation could never affect the power of the original series itself. But I can’t help get but pissed off when I think of schmohawks using my favorite piece of literature as means to sell bullshit crossover series, coffee mugs, and action figures. (Especially when the series lampoons such flagrant cash-grabs).

I dropped a post over at Warren Ellis’ Whitechapel forum, hoping to elicit response from the rare breed of nerd I call those whose opinions I value. To my delight, Warren offered his two cents:

Finding someone to work on it will be interesting. It’s not as cut and dried a thing as, say, working on an old Stan-and-Jack property.

And this got me thinking – What type of fucking asshole actually signs on to write/pencil/ink/color/letter/edit Watchmen 2? I’ve arrived at two answers; 1) A greedy fuck who doesn’t care about besmirching the legacy of the seminal work of the comics medium as long he’s paid well. 2) An arrogant prick who (laughably) thinks he’ll be able to live up to the standards of Watchmen.

This is fucked. I understand that the comic book industry is fucking shameless, more of a research & development department for the Movie/Cartoon/Toy Industry than an artistically-minded field. But I guess my inner optimist is deflated to realize that nothing is sacred anymore.

Who’s going to watch the Watchmen? Anyone that wakes up before 9AM on a Saturday.

[source]

[source2]

Christina Hendricks Continues to Define “Real Woman”

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Sweet Jesus

Christina Hendricks was at the DGA Awards, and Jesus Christ. That’s really all I can say. I’ve shied away from turning this place into an area where I just wank off to everyone that makes my loins boil – for the most part, I know. But trust me, I restrain myself – there would be women and men everywhere.

But c’mon. This is a real woman, full of beautiful real thunder. A stunning contrast to the emaciated, orange-skinned monstrosities that somehow pass off as the ideal woman in our vomit-culture. This lady has curves, and gorgeous porcelain skin. I’m madly in love. Plz marry me, kthnx. Click the above link for more pants-warming goodness.

Images & Words – Kick-Ass #8

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Kick Ass and Hit Girl

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

It seems as though a number of my favorite creators enjoy starting projects, getting me super-pumped about them, and then relegating them to the status of indefinite hiatus/who fucking knows?/cancelled. Do I ever expect to see the conclusion to Frank Miller and Jim Lee’s All-Star Batman and Robin? Short answer – no. Does it chap my ass that Warren Ellis’ Doktor Sleepless hasn’t been on a regular schedule for over a year? Let’s just say I’ve been wearing a lot of loose-fitting undies.

Fortunately, one of the guys on whom I can rely to finish his projects also happens to be one of my favorites. While the haters love to hold him in contempt (complaining that all his books are essentially the comics equivalent of popcorn-flicks), I cannot sing enough praises for the mighty Mark Millar. In the last few years, this guy has successfully completed some of the most entertaining miniseries and arcs. An incomplete and poorly arranged list:

Wolverine: Old Man Logan

Marvel 1985

Ultimates

Ultimates 2

Ultimate Avengers

Civil War

Wanted

When it comes to cartoon-magazines about superheroes, Millar’s consistency and excellence is absolutely unrivaled. The guy is a fucking titan of the industry, a writer whose own fandom is translated into passion and energy on the page. He might not be the mind-juggernaut that is Grant Morrison or a creator-of-continuity like Geoff Johns, but Mark Millar is a fucking boss.

So it is with the utmost pleasure that I present this edition of OL’s comic pick-of-week:

Kick-Ass #8

For any of you jerkies who’ve been out of the funny-book game since 2008, Kick-Ass is an exploration of what would happen if a comic book fanboy tried to become a superhero in the real world. Of course, shit goes wacky and all sorts of wannabes & imposters start showing up. Without giving too much away, I’ll tell you this – the first issue ends with protagonist Dave Lizewski getting the shit beat out of him during his first foray into the business of superheroism. Essentially, the combined effort of Millar and legendary artist John Romita Jr., the series is actually marked by its vulgarity, humor, and ultra-violent action scenes. In the best way possible.

Seven issues later and we’ve finally arrived at the end of the first arc. Now complete, I have no reservation in saying that this initial chapter of the Kick-Ass saga unrelentingly fires on all cylinders. Just as the book has done during its entire run, issue eight keeps the reader alternating between a state of jaw-dropping shock and belly-clutchin’ guffawing. We see the climatic showdown between the newly aligned Hit-Girl/Kick-Ass and the mobsters who’ve been hunting them. And what a climax it is.

Again, I really don’t want to spoil this issue but I will offer a look at some of its key ingredients:

Flamethrower. Castration. Cocaine. JRJR splash page. Child endangerment. Ben Grimm reference. Meat cleaver.

Trust me, it’s sick.

If the Kick-Ass movie is even half-faithful to this first arc (and word around the `net is that it’s full-faithful), we’re all in for a treat. Just make sure to read the comic first.

Because Comics is King.

Images & Words – Captain America #602

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Captain America 602

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]  

Not to call my brother out, but on Tuesday he lied to the faithful OL readers. In the last Variant Covers, Caffeine Powered wrote that this week’s Captain America would see both Steve Rogers and Bucky rocking out in the Star-Spangled undies. Trusting his words, I got all sorts of excited and screamed “TWO CAP’N AMERIKURS!? GAW-LEE!~” into the face of my elderly roommate.

But then I actually read Captain America #602 – and I realized that my a brother is fucking liar! Steve Rogers isn’t anywhere in this dang book!

To be fair, I don’t think Caffeine Powered intentionally misled anyone. Given the current state of the 616, the natural conclusion would be to expect two Captain Americas. After all, Marvel has been pretty lax since bringing back Stevie; yet to be revived in Reborn, he’s been seen chilling with Bucky in Who Will Wield the Shield?, Siege and The Invincible Iron Man. Tack on the fact that the cover of this newest issue features a Captain America rocking the classic/dungarees/belt uniform, and one would be inclined to think that a team-up rests within.

Again, not the case. In fact, Steve Rogers is nowhere to be found in this issue. Brubaker writes him out of the plot by having Bucky explain the absence to Nick Fury;

“Steve’s fine…him and Sharon are just off the grid right now…Staying at her family estate in Virginia.”

What a load of caca. I really hope that all this is doublespeak for some sick-ass secret mission, because if Steve Rogers is actually just hanging out in Virginia, we’re going to have words. Maybe even swear words.

“Don’t get me wrong, Stevie, taking a vacation with a lady-friend is a great way to relax. But since you got shot with that time/bullet/same thing as Batman?/consciousness-transplant bullet, shit’s fallen to pieces. So get your ass out of Jamestown and start cracking skulls!”

Anyways, what is this issue about? Well, even with Rogers out of the picture, the reader is treated to two Captain Americas; Bucky (of course) and William Burnside, the fucked-up, mental patient who was rendered into a Steve Rogers facsimile in the 1950’s. Burnside has put on his own pair of Star-Spangled undies and is soiling the image of the shield slinger as he corrals hillbillies into forming an anti-government militia. Naturally, this inspires Bucky and Falcon to go regulate.

Considering how much shit is going on in the Marvel universe, it might be for the best to leave Steve Rogers out of the title book for now. Truthfully, I’m more than pleased with having Bucky wield the shield and don’t want to see him give it up anytime soon. I know it’s only a matter of time, what with the trailer for the Captain America movie having been officially released, so I’m cool with enjoying James Buchanan while I can.

Bucky’s tenure as the sentinel of liberty is bound to end sooner rather than later. So if this depresses you (as it should), make sure to snag Captain America #602.

Feel the Hypnotic Burn of Creative Discomfort

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Dude is WICKED HAHD

Pepsibones and I are into truly weird shit. Like, odd shit that makes us feel like we’re taking the mind-altering substances we either cannot procure, or are too sissy to take. So when my friend Patrick passed along a new project he and his friend Bryan are working on, taking old VHS tapes from their library and editing them and making them generally more uncomfortable and amazing than they already are, I was like, fucking awesome. There’s a great one involving the New Kids On the Block, and a dope pizza guy with a mullet.

And then there’s the one I’m posting here.

It’s a mash-up of a Gucci Mane mixtape and the 90s German sci-i film “Bodo.” So if you’re in the market for hip-hop, or odd german sci-fi flicks on VHS, you’re in luck. It features beats, and some chick smoking and almost making out with a pre-pubescent. Why aren’t you already watching?

I showed it to my friend Brandon, who commented:

this has got to be one of the more fucked up things i’ve ever seen, which gives it that much more love

that roboto is a fucking pervert too, so i like him the best

that monkey just made me shit my pants

Well said, Brandon.

It’s weird shit, and strangely hypnotic. There’s something really creepy and odd about VHS in general, isn’t there? I mean, nothing seems dirtier and more erotic than old-school porn on a fuzzy VHS.  Check out the rest right here.

Throwin’ One Back

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Throwback

Holy fucking shit, He has returned. After restoring my faith during the summer, the messiah that is Pepsi Throwback is once again gracing mere mortals with His presence.

For those of you who have been living under a rock (or, more appropriately, not watching the NFL Playoffs and the accompanying ads), Pepsi has made the no-brainer decision to release another limited edition batch of the Throwback. The beverage harkens back to the glory years of America, when you’d ask Michael Jackson what soda pop to drink. Oh yeah, and back then Pepsi was made with sugar instead of the high fructose corn syrup they use on us future-dwellers. Sure, high fructose corn syrup might be cheaper to make but it isn’t nearly as tasty. So Uncle Sam can take his corn-subsidies and shove `em!

What’s that? You’re going to take a better-tasting beverage and toss it inside a sick-ass retro-can? Count me in.

I guess my only complaint is I now have no clue what to do with the can of Pepsi Throwback I saved from the original batch. Do I hold onto it indefinitely, waiting until I’m on my deathbed to crack it open? Or should I just pound it now and replace it with one of the new, better-designed cans of Throwback? Time will tell.

Go to the store now. Stock up. After the apocalypse hits, Pepsi Throwback is going to replace gold (with Mountain Dew Throwback functioning as silver).

In the post-apocalyptic market, this will buy enough gasoline to get my dune buggy to the burnt remains of Las Vegas and back again.

In the post-apocalyptic market, this will buy enough gasoline to get my dune buggy to the burnt remains of Las Vegas and back again.

College is Over – Let’s Watch Star Wars and Drink!

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

Pepsibones Graduates

About two weeks ago I received my grades for the final classes I would ever take as an undergraduate student. College, at least until I get sucked into grad school, is officially over. While I believed in my ability to finish, I guess I never really thought I’d see the day when I would. After all, maulings are on the rise.

In addition to double-majoring in Literature & Secondary Education, the last four (and a half) years saw me doing all sorts of wacky shit:

I wrote a novella.

I traveled around the country with my best friends.

I went to Orlando with Mrs. Krueger. Twice.

I worked at a coffee shop, afterschool program, emergency room, restaurant, day camp, resource center and a video store.

I scripted a comic book, found an artist to illustrate it, and then lost touch with the artist…twice.

I tried my hand at teaching and have realized that I enjoy it as a “for now” job, but hope to parlay my skills into the collegiate setting.

I finally started a blog with my brother.

Without reservation, I can state that I have changed more during my college years than any other period in my life. And knowing this, I planned my personal graduation celebration accordingly. For nearly two years, I’ve purposely refrained from watching my favorite movie of all time. As an avid-believer in the value of delayed gratification, I knew that waiting until I finished college to watch this flick would help recapture some of the magic that made me fall in love with it in the first place.

So tonight, I’m watching the theatrical cut of Star Wars and sipping on Sam Adams Utopias.

God damn, this feels good.

I Have Pulphope

Monday, December 14th, 2009

Pulphope

Paul Pope is not only an amazing comics-creator, but a true inspiration and one of my personal heroes. I admire Pope because of his ability to swoop into the world of comic books to deliver amazing stories & fresh perspectives, and then stage an exit before falling victim to the pitfalls of the medium. I don’t know much about the technical aspects of illustration, but I know that every single panel of Pope’s work I’ve ever seen feels authentic/genuine/as though the man is incapable of phoning it in.

Although he’s spun some of great yarns about franchise-characters , he understands that they fulfill a certain role. In an interview to address his exhibition at the Art Directors Club in New York City, Pope offered the following:

“They periodically kill off Superman or Captain America or Batman, then according to [formula], they resurrect them again. I don’t follow continuity comics unless a really amazing cartoonist is drawing the story, an Eduardo Risso or a Frank Quietly or a John Cassaday or a Steve Rude. I think superheroes represent themes rather than function as true characters in any literary sense. Because in real life and in literature, people and characters make choices and have a destiny, and must necessarily change–maybe for the better or the worse– but they are substantively different from the person they were at the beginning of the story. The superheroes don’t change, the guardians of the franchise don’t want to change them, and the audience probably doesn’t want it either.”

So although I enjoy the hell out of Batman Year 100 (which, roughly speaking, reads to me as a cross between the Batman mythos and a Bladerunner-styled technofuture), Pope’s original works are the creations to which I am most drawn. For an amazing testament to the power of sequential art, I strongly recommend 100%. Despite being a bit of a cynic, this book makes me believe in the value of love and art and trying to make the most out of a life that often seems utterly insignificant. And while this all sounds great in theory, Pope’s execution is nothing short of perfection.

As a student of narrative, there’s been many a night in which I’ve asked myself, “What’s the fucking point of this stuff? Why should I even bother concerning myself with the past? What can fiction do for the world?” The best answer I’ve ever received comes on the eighteenth page of Pulphope, Pope’s collection of art and essays:

“When I need my own mirror of men and angels, I too turn to hear the voices of the dead. Without even having faith in mystics, I too turn to take my cue from dead mystics. When I need voices, I turn to Emerson and Thoreau. Their Transcendentalism rings a bit hollow to me (I am no Platonist), but their words still ring clear and true. I turn to the dour civics of Confucius and the clear-eyed cynicism of Machiavelli. The life-embrace of Epicurus. I turn to the dreamtime of Jung and the pastorality of Tolkein. And to others. These poets and philosophers are the whispering dead I hear, pointing the way to the road which leads out of this inferno. These are the dead on the roof with me, these are my Virgils. They point their parchment fingers toward the arc of the heavens, helping make sense of a meaningless rising moon and a mute and dumb setting sun.”

Today, the mailman dropped off a limited edition Paul Pope print from the folks at Nakatomi Inc. The one-sheet is a tribute to Guido Crepax, an Italian comics artist of yesteryear whose work is (apparently) marked by sexually-charged female figures. The 13×19 variant features babes, motorcycles, and a shootout; in other words, it’s dope.

Crepax Variant

I couldn’t be happier with this print. Beautiful in its own right, I’m going to hang it with the added satisfaction of knowing that I possess a limited edition poster created by comic books’ most inspirational, if not underappreciated, artists.

Pope is fashionable

I don’t have much hope – but I have Pulphope.

Pepsibones Has Pulphope