#Featured Articles

Monday Morning Commute: Electron Elixir

electron elixir

Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!

What’re we going to do? Well, first I’ll share a bit of word-nonsense that I brain-bloodletted. Then, I’ll run through some of the pop culture and slop culture I’m devouring in the hopes of filling the existential void this week.

Then, if you’re feeling kinky, you can hit up the comments section and share the ingredients you’ll be using to create an Anti-Ennui Potion.

Okay, time to rock!

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Desktop Thursdays: Pizza Junkie XL Pizza

stupid fat

The winter has not been kind to my body. Or rather, I have not been kind to my body this winter. Just eating. Always eating. Alas, alas, alas. Welcome to my world, welcome to my gluttony, welcome to my self-hate. You can find all within this post, Desktop Thursdays. Show me, show me your world(s), too!

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Desktop Thursdays: Snow Way To Get To School!

snow way to get to school

Welcome to Desktop Thursdays! The post where I share my world(s) both real and virtual! I’ll keep this short and sweet! ‘Cause it’s a snow day and I want to get back to making it long and fat! Crushing calories en masse, growing the fat ass en masse, maximizing the harassment of my wife en masse with sass! Don’t have much to offer this week in the way of views into my world! But offer them I shall! And I hope, oh do I hope, you’ll share your own world in the comments section!

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Monday Morning Commute: Doldrums City

monday morning commute doldrums city

Welcome to Doldrums City, comrades. Population: Me (at the very least). I’m sick. I’m tired. The Earth is melting, our government is run by lily livered cretins and monsters. Football is over. The sky is ash. I’m stick. I’m tired. All I want to do is sleep, masturbate wildly while screaming at the ceiling fan, and eat. Eat, and eat, and eat, and eat. Rinse. Repeat.

The columns must flow, though. The Commute must be Monday Morning’d. So here we are. So here we are.

This is MondayMorningCommute by way of TuesdayAfternoon.

Being MMC BYO TA, the task at hand is simple. I share what I’m looking forward to this week. What I’m hoping will rocket me out of Doldrums City, comrades. Then you share your own anticipatory happenings in the comments section.

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OMEGA-CAST #22: Did We Just Become Best Friends?

bestfriends

Well, friends, it’s another edition of the friggin’ OMEGA-CAST. Truthfully, I’ve been sitting on writing up this podcast post for a bit now. Cause, well, this one goes off the rails quickly. Or perhaps more accurately, into previously uncharted territory. Despite evidence to the contrary, Bateman and I are generally completely in-sync with one another. From personal tastes, to underlying ideologies, and an unapologetic love of babes. Which is why I feel comfortable infinitely trolling him, and why he feels comfortable infinitely ingesting it. On this episode of the pod, for some reason, we open up about our mutually tumultuous childhoods. If you ever wondered how we both ended up the way we did, here’s a look at some of the psychological carnage. Aside from that? We get into Bateman’s quest to make ten-million dollars (seriously), uh some other stuff, and Final Fantasy XV. So, uh, enjoy!

Or you can skip all that and just enjoy Rendar going IN on Rogue One! Spoiler! He doesn’t like it. At all. 

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Weekend Open Bar: Make A Wish (God Isn’t Listening)

weekend open bar

Good god damn, it’s the Weekend. Good god damn, I’m glad.

Can minimize the amount of time I’m stuffed into these ever-tightening pants, and maximize the amount of time I’m working towards further corpulence. It’s a merry sequence, a happied romance. I hope, oh I hope to do it with you folks. Here at the Weekend Open Bar. The weekly weekend invitation, nay, the weekly weekend invocation of the citizens of Space-Ship Omega. To gather around the digi-hearth and spend their weekend together. Sharing what we’re eating, sharing what we’re drinking, sharing what we’re reading. Sharing anything and everything! Drunken tales of anal gapes around Slurpee dispensers. Sober tales of contemplating. Anything and everything.

Good god damn, it’s the Weekend. Good god damn, I’m glad.

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Desktop Thursdays: a more perfect union

a more perfect union

A more perfect union, yo.

Hate and the hindbrain.

A more perfect union, yo.

The monsters and the levers.

A more perfect union, yo.

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Monday Morning Commute: The Sky Above Was Neon

monday morning commute the sky above was neon

I suppose, invariably, writing Monday Morning Commute on an actual Monday evening will find me: tired, stank-ass from the gym, palming my eye sockets attempting to figure out what to say. So, invariably, here we are. Here I am. Stank ass. Tired. Palming my eye sockets, praying to the Elder Ones to provide Divination. I’m tired, you’re tired. I’m somewhat fulfilled, in a somewhat fulfilling job, that compensates for its fulfillment by being tenuously existent from semester to semester, and perpetually stressful about said existence. But as the French Philosopher CaffPow once said, “C’est la adjunct life or some shit.” He said that. I said that. I hope you’re feeling at least as fulfilled as me, minus the stress, the perpetual scrotum-shrinking stress of contemplating the harrowing, horrifying prospects of what Next Semester Will Bring, less than a week into This Semester.

Fuck, fuck me, I’ve gotten myself off one of them Old Tangents. They used to be about how I beat my meat inconsolably to gifs of Katy Perry or some shit. Many moons ago. Now they’re just another tepid meat-case lamenting its tepidity whilst stuck in said meat-case, completely ignoring how Goddamn Good the meat-case has it Relative To So Much Of The World.

But, uh, buddy. Buddies. How are you folk-fuckers doing? What are you up to this week? Watching anything dope? What are you sweating? Anticipating playing anything dope? Sharing the answers to said questions is not cheating, folk-fuckers. No, in fact, it’s encouraged in this post here’s comments section. One could even say it’s the fucking raison d’être (the phrase popped into my head but truthfully I had to Google it to confirm it actually was a phrase) of this entire column. Generating a self-sustaining Community Bubble wherein we can share what we’re STOKED and JACKED for during a given week.

Me, this little ole devil? I’ll go first.

Hope to see you in the comments section! Folk-fuckers!

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Monday Morning Commute: The Next Four To Eight

the next four to eight

I’m fucking tired, man. Like — way tired. Like — eyelids half closed. But here I am! But here we are. This is Monday Morning Commute. The column where I share with you fellow rotting meat-sacks what I’m looking forward to each week. Furthermore, additionally, I then, with all my audacity, ask you to share what *you* anticipating across the next seven.

So! Without further ado, without further verbosity, without further self-indulgent blathering, let’s do this!

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Desktop Thursdays: The Gospel Of The Omega

kenny omega

It’s been, according to the CalculationWizards, two weeks since I’ve done a Desktop Thursday. That’s aiight-aiight-aiight. The reason? The reason(s)? I don’t know, man. Ennui? A lack of pictures taken during the week? Both? Neither? Both-Neither! But here I am-am-am. A new post! A new look at my world(s) across the past two weeks. Tangible, intangible, virtual, aesthetic, heroic. All goes! Share your own views in the comments section!

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