Fear Fest: Mutually Assured Destruction, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

October 31st, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 31st, Mutually Assured Destruction, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

“War …
War never changes…
Since the dawn of human kind, when our ancestors first discovered the killing path with rock and bone, blood has been spilled in the name of everything, from God, to justice, to simple psychotic rage.”
-Ron Pearlman as the Narrator of Fallout

Here we are. We made it. I’m not going to lie, I fully expected to quit halfway through this thing. Through trials and tribulations, I managed to hang on. So here we go the final fear of Fear Fest.
MAD or Mutually Assured Destruction refers to a scenario in which one super power launches their nuclear stock pile. This creates a chain reaction that causes a retaliatory strike from one or more countries. If this happened between the US and Russia, there would be no need to include any other countries. We’d crack the Earth like an egg.

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Fear Fest: Irrational Fears! Or, That Chair Wants To Kill You.

October 30th, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 30th, Irrational Fears

“I think it would be very foolish not to take the irrational seriously.”
-Jeanette WInterson

Today we’re going to switch gears a bit. For the past month I’ve been picking one fear per day and running with that. Today we’ll quickly look at some irrational fears. I mean like the really weird fears … the kind that make you laugh. The kind of fears that when someone says they have it, you reply incredulously and probably lose a friendship. So, let’s dive right in.

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Fear Fest: Vampires.

October 29th, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 29th, Vampires

“The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him.”
-Garrett Fort

Vampires are everywhere. They are in our movies, they are in our books, they are in our children’s programs, hell they even sell us breakfast cereals. Metaphorically speaking, these creatures have lost their teeth. However there was once a time when these majestic creatures were more feared than cancer and aids combined.

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Fear Fest: Ventriloquist Dolls!

October 28th, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 28th, Ventriloquist Dolls

“Blessed be Providence which has given to each his toy: the doll to the child, the child to the woman, the woman to the man, the man to the devil! ’”
-Victor Hugo

First off, if you don’t think that these dummies are scary, something is wrong with you. Plain and simple. Philip K. Dick wrote a book by the name of “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” Well, I can’t answer that, but these dolls do in fact dream of strangling you with piano wire. I’m not suggesting that you have to have full blown automatonophobia (fear of dummies, and wax or animatronic figures), you should at least be wary around them.

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Fear Fest: Zombies! The Goddamn Undead.

October 27th, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 27th, Zombies

“Yea, I know I’m ugly … I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’”
-Rodney Dangerfield

Today’s fear comes out of the world of horror stories and voodoo religions. Originally the term was meant to describe a person who was hypnotized or under a spell, it wasn’t until recent times that it was applied to animated corpses.

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Fear Fest: The Boogieman. He’s Totally Not In Your Closet.

October 26th, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 25th, the Boogeyman

“There is no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.”
-Bart Simpson

When it comes to instilling fear in children, the boogeyman is second to none. The boogeyman traces his origin back to the source of most children’s fears; parents. For the most part, the boogeyman was made up to use fear to teach children lessons. I’ve often said that fear is the most powerful of motivators, and the boogeyman is the manifestation of this idea in practice.

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Fear Fest: Ape-ocalypse. G’damn Dirty Super Intelligent F**kers.

October 25th, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 25th, Ape-ocalypse

“It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.”
-H.L. Mencken

Today’s fear has been on my mind since I saw Rise of Planet of the Apes a few weeks back. I’m not going to take specifics from the film beyond the concept, but for posterity’s sake, I did enjoy it.

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Fear Fest: Terrorism!

October 24th, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 24th, Terrorism

“Be a terror to the butchers, that they may be faith in their weight; and keep hucksters and fraudulent dealers in awe, for the same reason.”
-Miguel de Cervantes

Wow, 7 days of fear left. Quite the journey we’ve been on. I’ve got some good fears lined up for this week. Some of them are abstract; some of them are very real. So let’s dive into today’s fear.

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Fear Fest: Space Disasters! Quiet, No One Can Hear You Scream.

October 23rd, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 23rd, Space Travel Disasters

“Well, the thing about a black hole – its main distinguishing feature – is it’s black. And the thing about space, the colour of space, your basic space colour, is black. So how are you supposed to see them.”
-Holly (Red Dwarf)

I love the idea of space travel, I really do. However, when I think of everything that can go wrong it scares the shit out of me. I understand we’ve had about 100 years of flight under our belts now but that still does nothing for my nerves. We don’t have junk floating around in the sky that could cause a collision … unless you count Southwest. Southwest fucking sucks. I’ve flown with them twice and both times they’ve fucked me or someone in my party. But before I get too far off topic, space travel has its fair share of dangers.

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Fear Fest: Sharks. Seabound Serial Killers of Glory.

October 22nd, 2011 by The Dude

OCTOBER 22nd, Sharks

“I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion.”
-Nicolas Cage

Sharks are perhaps the world’s oldest and most efficient killers. There is little difference between the prehistoric megalodon and today’s great white; it’s just smaller. We humans are without a doubt the rulers of the land, but the seas belong to the shark. With 70% or so of the Earth’s surface is water, what does that mean for who rules the planet?

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