Watch: Deadpool explains why he won’t host ‘SNL’, spoofs Kanye’s Rant

Ryan Reynolds and Deadpool aren’t going anywhere, despite the fact (or perhaps due to the fact) that the movie is already released, and making absurd amounts of ducats. The actor-character-actor-metameta has responded to an online petition asking the character-actor-character-metameta to host SNL, spoofing Kanye’s epic rant from last week.

CBR:

Earlier this week, fans got together and launched a Change.org petition seeking to get Deadpool to host “Saturday Night Live.” (The petition, by the by, currently has 68,120 signatures.) Seeing as the “Deadpool” film is currently smashing all sorts of records and probably garners more laughs than your typical episode of “SNL,” it actually seemed like a pretty fun fit. However,Ryan Reynolds has cast doubt on it ever coming to fruition as he’s released “long-lost” backstage audio of Deadpool blowing his shot at the dream gig.

In a parody of the recently leaked rant by Kanye West backstage before his “SNL” performance last weekend, Deadpool flips out about how his status is not being respected. “I’m 50% more influential than MC Hammer, Apostle Judas Iscariot, the KIA Sorrento,” he contends. “60% more influential than the iPhone 5, shredded cheese, and Dr. Ruth.” There is one thing even he can’t compete, however: “7% less influential than the Urban Dictionary.”

“Actually DEADPOOL was going to host back in the 90s, but then this happened,” reads the description of the video posted on Reynolds’ account. “Thank god Tom Hanks was available that week.” Of course, details in the audio don’t really line up with that timeline (“It’s been seven years since ‘X-Men Origins'”), but we can see how this kind of behavior might not endear Deadpool to Lorne Michaels. Listen to the R-rated rant below.