[WEEKEND OPEN BAR: The one-stop ramble-about-anything weekend post at OL. Comment on the topic at hand. Tell us how drunk you are. Describe a comic you bought. This is your chance to bring the party.]
I’m always down to eat pizza.
How could I not be? Even in its most basic form, pizza is the perfect food. Dough. Tomato. Cheese. I’m no nutritionist, but I’m pretty sure that those ingredients cover all of the important food groups. As simple as it may be, a large cheese pizza is a versatile accompaniment, perfect for business meetings, birthday parties, and beer drankin’ sessions.
But the true beauty of pizza-pie is that there’re so many goddamn varieties.
You can make a pizza with garden-ripe ingredients and freshly-mixed dough, or you can treat yourself to a frost-bitten bad-boy from the back of your freezer. Not digging circular shapes? Then feel free to rock a square pie! Thin crust? Chicago deep-dish? Both’re wonderful. Oh, and when it comes to toppings there’re no rules – pizzas are blank canvases, eager to be painted with pepperoni and mushrooms and pineapples and onions and BBQ chicken and whatever else your depraved mind desires.
I’m no Hellenic expert, but I know that there’s a pizza for every member of the Olympian pantheon. While Zeus chomps on a deep-dish three cheese, Poseidon Earthshaker snacks on a shrimp scampi pizza. Everyone gives Artemis a hard time, because she asked the pizzeria to use the venison she flayed herself. And of course, Dionysus steals a slice from everyone, too drunk to realize that he’s not eating his own pie.
Mortal or god, chances’re good that you enjoy pizza.
But here’s what we don’t know: What is your favorite type of pizza?
While I’m willing to try any concoction, my go-to will always be a large pizza with black olives. I know that olives’re a divisive topping, so I’ll rarely fight for them when ordering pizza in a group setting. In my experience, I’ve found that there’s always at least one person who claims that olives make them want to vomit all over their own shoes. And while I think the real argument to be had is that this individual has a weak constitution and needs to be reprogrammed by a shady pro-pizza government-resistance alliance, I just settle for whatever everyone else wants.
But if I had my druthers, it’d be black olive pizza all damn day!
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What is your favorite type of pizza?
