Listen. The inflation hitting Imperial credits affects all of us. Even the Dark Lord of the Sith himself. It’s gotten so bad that the man had to rob a bank before fleeing on his BMX.
Darth Vader is no stranger to run-ins with the law, whether heisting banks in Long Island, participating in dubiously conceived Ukrainian land use legislation, or receiving parking tickets in Brooklyn.
But in Toledo, Ohio Wednesday afternoon, the Sith Lord robbed a bank yet again. Perhaps the most curious detail from this incident was the glimmer of a nascent Imperial velocipede program. (“After getting an undisclosed amount of money, he fled the scene using a dark colored BMX bike.”
Affects us all, okay?