In the next future, with the Robot Apocalypse approaching, nowhere will be safe for us. As the robots crunch our skulls and drink our blood (they will convert it into a bio-fuel of sorts), we won’t even be able to play one last game of Halo before the Recknoning. Our own goddamn consoles will be able to identify us, just by us holding our controller.
Iris scans are old hat. The future of biometric identification is in registering and identifying a person’s unique hand pressure profile — at least, that’s what someone at Microsoft believes. The megalithic multimedia mogul has been granted a patent for “personalization using a hand-pressure signature,” specifically in conjunction with game console controllers.
A device outfitted with this technology would include internal memory and a processing unit. Once gripped by a user, the device would register the pressure exerted by the user’s mits and compare that to a stored database of recognized pressure profiles. Once a match is found, the device (in this case a 360) knows who is holding the controller and can then display advertisements information appropriately. Despite this patent being specific to controllers, we could see the usefulness of this technology in cell phones, tv remotes, or essentially any hand-held electronic device, should it ever come to fruition.
Game over, man! Game over.