COMICS WE’RE BUYING THIS WEEK: Experimenting On The Prophets And Bat-Men

Ahoy, good friends and passive enemies. This is Caff-Pow, and I’m here to guide you on this most glorious of days. Wednesday. The day that new comic book arrives on shelves and in digi-places, offering those of us who subscribe to the paneled page a new dosage of our narcotic. Here in this column we all gather around and share the jams, joints, dosages, dopeness and other assorted nonsenses we’re buying this week. I’ll go first. It only seems fitting I show you mine before you show me yours. Not sure what’s coming out? Hit up ComicList.

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3 Story: Secret Files of the Giant Man
For uncultured assholes like myself, 2010’s Revolver  was my first foray into the wonder that is Matt Kindt. Others, more knowing, more wise, heavier in the testicle or breast, had already enjoyed him. Even more negligent, despite loving his work on the aforementioned title as well as his collaborations with Jeff Lemire on Sweet Tooth, I never doubled back around to catch-up. This is indeed a colossal failure wrapped in a despair blanket. Well, friends. Salvation is coming. This week Dark Horse is publishing a collection of three sequels the good lad did to his much-acclaimed 3 Story. I will buy this! Then plunge my dagger into the golden heart of a Unicorn-Dragon and make my sacrifice of pinky and tongue to the Gods. Only then will I be redeemed.

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Prophet #24 [My pick of the week]
Prophet is…probably my favorite fucking title going. Sparse Hemingway Post-Apocalyptic insanity-absurdity that really just wails on all my pleasure centers. By the time I am done reading an issue I am heaving of chest, groaning of groin, and smiling of face. Man, I’m really losing it tonight. Anyways, it’s really goddamn good. Are you reading it? After last issue finished of the story arc by writer/beastslayer Brandon Graham, I was a bit incredulous. What would become of John Prophet now? What could they do? Well, my more intelligent and able-minded brother said: whatever they want. John Prophets all over the galaxy, having been activated. Buckle-up, saddle-up, and smoke em if you got them. This is going to be fun.

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Defenders #5
I couldn’t give two tugs of my Nana’s forever-lactating nipple about Avengers vs. X-Men. Jesus Christ, Marvel is really having their characters beef it out with one another again. Again! Civil War  barely off our radars. Thankfully Defenders  seems to be escaping the abyss that is Crossover Event Explosion!, being left to riff on its own oddity in peace. This title excels particularly because it is Matt Fraction at his zaniest on this side of Casanova, wanking metafictional and throwing in the hilarity. It’s just goddamn bonkers, and I don’t know how many Marvel titles can claim to be such these days.

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The Manhattan Projects #2
Infinite Oppenheimers. That’s what the first issue of the latest Hickman/Pitarra jam offered up to the Multiverse. A comic free-wheeling around the idea that beyond the race to split the atom and unleash destruction never before seen were other more fantastical experiments going on. The first character we were introduced to was J. Robby Oppenheimer…’s  sociopath  brother who ate the acclaimed scientist and took his place. Pow! Take that off the giblets. It has something of a Planetary  vibe up in the house, dropping an unknown history of World War II and our existence on us. Nothing new for Hickman who has penned many an alternate-ideas of our world, most favorably (to me) his run on S.H.I.E.L.D.

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Another Miscellany
If I could only buy four comics, they’d be the ones up above. However, let me be known that I like thickies. You know, glorious stacks of comic books riding shotty on the way home every Wednesday. So here’s some other things I may come home clutching. There’s  Uncanny X-Force #24, continuing its solid monthly bout of banter and violence. Batman #8  is dropping, and I feel like I’m the only one, but whatever: it’s my favorite title coming out of the New 52. Oh! Also worth nothing, for those who missed the initial drop of this year’s most friggin’ exceptional title, Saga #1  gets a third printing. Seriously. Hop on that title and grind, people. Your blushing cheeks will tale the tell of your enjoyment.

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Well, that’s me. What are you folk reading?