The final trailer for The Dark Knight Rises has dropped. You’re not worthy, but you should watch it anyways. Holy *fuck*.
Peter Jackson has jacked into the inter-pipes and responded to the sizzling critiques surrounding how The Hobbit looks in 48fps. His main point? Patience.
In 1992 Dave Mustaine welcomed us to tomorrow. To be fair, this presentiment was most likely the product of combining hours of guitar-slingin’ with label deadlines and, of course, heroin. But the man wasn’t wrong. By the end of the 1990s, the world would be altered irrevocably, requiring us to adapt or perish.
A new Allegory of the Cave called The Matrix bullet-timed its way into our collective consciousness, reminding us that its of the utmost importance to wonder about the very nature of reality. The Internet skulked into our homes, providin’ us with unprecedented access to democracy and porn and free/stolen/whatever music. And then Star Wars fucking died.
Look around. Grandpa’s got a Bluetooth in his head, the teens use Twitter to goad one another into suicide, and SkyNet has invented a self-driving car in the hopes of obliterating human agency. So how do we survive the hustle in bustle of the post-cybernetic revolution?
We talk about the shit that makes us happy! Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! This is the spot where I show you how I’ll be entertaining myself into the weekend. Your task is to hit up the comments section and share the wares you’ll be using. It’s really just show-and-tell with typing, but aren’t we all pretty much children these days anyways.
How would you feel about having a high-velocity missile launcher stationed on your rooftop? I’d feel a bit of a villain swag, complimented by being really frightened that there was a death machine on my building’s head. London residents are working through these same sort of emotions as they prepare to have weapons of death on their rooftops in anti-terrorist measures during the the Olympics.
I’m getting a bit of the old motion sickness from whipping my head around following the conflicting Hulky reports. I had just assumed a movie was in the works. Kevin Feige said no. Now some other dude who runs a part of the Marvel Entertainment Kraken is all like “Yeah, prolly”. Someone give me a goddamn answer!
I’m one bad Diet Dew binge away from snapping and popping in my heart-piece. I know this. Just one bad day. So the news that scientists have found a way to generate muscle tissue after my inevitable collapse is fantastic.
God of War: Ascension – Kratos Fucks People To Death With Knives is going to have a multiplayer mode. This confirms for the series the last artifact of our current gaming generations’ nonsense that hadn’t been ingested into its dense, brooding soul.
Details, videos, and pictures after the jump.
Apparently Jupiter is like, way slacking. You see, that big gassy son of a bitch is supposed to be our bulwark against cosmic refuse and shit smashing into us and like, ending civilization. Yet according to new reports cataclysmic asteroids used to be way more common than we’d rather think about.