Thomas Edison is high-fiving Jimi Hendrix in Hell. Just recently GE dug up a time capsule that had some light bulbs in them, and found that three of them were in working condition. This video is the crazy bastards lighting up one of them after a century. No word on what they did with the dessicated corpse of Edison and the Illuminati Jewel he held in his rigid skeleton hands, though.

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Well dang! It’s been a minute since I butt cheek titty fucked this particular column. Press Start! Column where we chat up the weekly happenings in the gaming world. I’ve been busy, okay? The sculpture of Casey Hudson I’ve been crafting made out of my own excrement and sticking pins into to punish him for Mass Effect 3’s  ending won’t make itself. Lots of chicken finger plates. Lots of bowel movements. Lots of fun! What matters is that I’m here now. We’re all snuggled up, don’t sniff my fingers, and I’m about to rattle off five things that caught my eyes this week. Don’t see something you dug on the list? Good, this little community doesn’t work without your input. Let’s jam.

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Marvel has this thing they do, where if there’s a moderately enjoyable film of theirs, they manage to squeeze the director out of the chair. This is in contrast to paying them what they deserve, or giving them the control they probably earned. Captain America 2  is getting going, and the director who made the flick isn’t even on the potential list of minds to helm the sequel.

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[Via | Cosplayed by  Scruffy Rebel]

I bet you didn’t know this, but I’m a huge polygamist. Not the creepy Mormon kind, but the “holy shit there are too many attractive people that I want to bang for me to even think about being monogamous” kind. You see, I have about 27 celebrity husbands and 15 or 16 celebrity wives, and I’ve been gathering my famous spouses like beanie babies since, oh, 2001. I am married to 43 people. 43, you fuckers. It’s a big list, one that has been in flux since the start. Oh, I have my fixed 10, and they will remain in their spots on the list until the day I die and take my rightful place on the throne of Hell, but I’m constantly marrying and divorcing other people like it’s my job.

And guess what? Every Thursday, you’ll get to learn about 1 or 2 of them. Prepare yourself for Cinematic Polyamory, or “R.C.’s ovaries explode so often that the frequency can’t be textually rendered”. This post is a little late, as I spent last night stuffing my face at a fundraiser dinner, so apologies for cluttering up the Friday dashboard.

But why don’t we begin this ridiculousness with my number ones?
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Eric Stephenson is the publisher for Image Comics, who are the hottest mainstream comics company in my eyes. Stephenson spoke out recently about the “success” of titles of theirs such as Saga  selling out at comic book stores. He definitely dapped it up with those titles, but also pointed something out: selling out sort of sucks.

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The  Schwarzenegger and DeVito jam Twins  is a warm fuzzy memory from my childhood. Like almost all the other films from my childhood that were fuzzy memories, Hollywood now seems intent on plopping a dollop of feces right upon it.

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I think I’m a pretty open-minded dude. Peace, love, and respect of one another’s cultures, man. Or at least I thought I was. ‘Cause now I’m staring at a batch of a Chinese delicacy and wondering just what the fuck in tarnation is going on here. Urine-boiled eggs, also referred to as  Virgin Boy Eggs. Wut.

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The marketing machine for Assassin’s Creed 3  is vomiting out press release, commercial, and info at obscene rates. Ubisoft is shoving it down our gullets and gleefully clapping as it falls out our ass, half-chewed. All of this nonsense is paying dividends for the swine.

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[Source: Pinalinet]