#March2012

Norwegian Diplomat Thinks LARPing Can Save The World. Gotta Start Somewhere?

You can tell  Heikki Holmas isn’t an American politician in ways other than his name. The dude professes to having a bit of a life-boner when it comes to table top gaming. By the Gods! That’s the Satan’s tool. Holmas goes beyond that, making a pretty spectacular claim about the curative effects of LARPing.

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BioWare Gives All 400 ‘MASS EFFECT 3’ Protest Cupcakes To Charity

Some master-baker motherfuckers who were cheesed about the ending to Mass Effect 3  decided to voice their displeasure in the form of cupcakes. They did indeed send them yummy-yums to BioWare, who did the solid and donated them to charity.

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Video: “SOLAR TORNADO” Is 5 Times Larger Than Earth. Scope ++

Solar-Tornado!

This is fucking fantastic, right here. Here’s a little existential wonderment to set you up for your weekend. The  Solar Dynamics Observatory has caught a solar tornado that is five times  bigger than the Earth.

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Kevin Smith Wants To Do ‘CLERKS 3’ As A Play? C’mon No Dude Please No.

Clerks 2  felt like a hot wet dump on my soul. Having grown up muttering the lines to the original to myself for hours, I don’t know what I expected. I wasn’t even opposed to it in theory. I should have been. It looks like I’ll be getting another drizzling of butt syrup, if Kevin Smith backs up this noise.

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‘STEP UP REVOLUTION’ TRAILER: Miami Boner Jams Meet #Occupy

You’re unlikely to see a more amazing  thing today. Behold the trailer for Step Up Revolution, something so chuck full of insanity that I wish I was there snorting the drugs and krumping to Pitbull while they wrote this script. It’s so, so, so goddamn horrible. I need it.

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‘THE AVENGERS’ TV SPOTS: Dong Measuring Contest Between Loki and Stark

The Avengers  got itself a couple of new TV spots. One in Brazilian, one in Dialect of the Empire flavor! Both of them have Tony Stark and Loki measuring each other’s proverbial hog, leading into the now famous “We have a Hulk” line.

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Original ‘PRINCE OF PERSIA’ Source Code Found…In Dad’s Closet

Jordan Mechner is the lad who set the ball rolling that eventually resulted in Jake Gyllenhaal running around shirtless in that awful Prince of Persia  movie. It must chilling, watching your work of art used for evil. Mechner hadn’t had his hands on the code that launched a thousand promos of Gyllenhaal’s HGH-fueled pectoral muscles for a decade, but now that’s changed. His dad checked his closet.

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Popular Game Box Art Done Up As ADULT MOVIE PARODIES. Clever/Not Clever Amusement.

Here’s an ass load (probably a pun in this context) of video games’ box art done up as porn parodies. I can’t tell if the cheesy almost groan-worthy titles are on the creator’s part, or they’re simply fulfilling the non-clever-but-amusing porn title manifesto. Analo? Really? Sounds…silly (send me a copy). The whole thing is validated by the Samus In Latex cover.

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Face of a Franchise: The Hulk!

[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

The Hulk is a pretty easy character to support. I mean, seriously, what’s not to love? Is it the fact that the dude is a research scientist hoping to improve the state of the world? Could it be the tremendous lengths he goes to while trying to win over the love of his life? Maybe it’s his incredible aversion to violence, the reticent willingness to engage in fisticuffs only as an absolute last resort?

Or perhaps it’s the fact that when the Hulk gets pissed off and push comes to shove, he fucking smashes.

Despite the general consensus about big green bastard’s appeal, a debate arises when discussing those depictions outside of the paneled page. Old school Banner-believers may cite the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferrigno tagteam from The Incredible Hulk series as being the definitive portrayal. On the other hand, the more rabid fanboy-augurs amongst us are already claiming that the best Hulk-performance will be found in Mark Ruffalo. There’s no denyin’ that all three of these actors deserve recognition for their contributions to the superheroic Jekyll & Hyde mythos.

But when it comes to live-action dramatizations of the triple threat match between Banner’s id, ego, and super-ego, two actors stand above the rest.

In 2003’s Hulk,   Eric Bana used his supreme thespian skills to conjure up an image of a brutish, mentally-deficient being with enormous muscles. And that was just his take on Banner! Zing! Seriously though, the Aussie-actor guides the audience through a vision of the Hulk that must navigate his way through a whole mess of psychological pitfalls, including inferiority issues, Oedipal complexes, and the volatility of suppressed rage. Bana paints a portrait of the green goliath that uses both the broad strokes of intense violence as well as the subtle strokes of a shattered psyche.

Five years later, Edward Norton got the chance to bring the breaker of worlds to life in The Incredible Hulk. Somewhere in between a sequel and a reboot, this film tries to give fans exactly what they love about the character. Banner’s on the run, Betty Ross is lookin’ dope as hell, Thunderbolt Ross is bein’ a pain in the proverbial emerald ass, and there’s another monster for the Hulk to fight. Eddie Norton fit particularly well, as he looked the part of the scrawny science nerd but carried himself with the intensity of a man trying to iron out emotional wrinkles of the most brutal sort. Additionally, most fans agree that this second feature-length attempted was more successful than the first…but how much of that can be attributed to Norton?

This is a tricky one. Australia vs. America. Nero vs. The Narrator.

So who’s the best Hulk? Eric Bana or Edward Norton?

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‘HUNGER GAMES’ Propaganda Posters Are Tongue-In-Cheek Time.

Here’s a whole slew of propaganda posters for Hunger Games  by Caldwell Tanner and Nathan Yaffe. That’s it. Don’t really have much more to say about the bunch. They’re amusing. Does that work?

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