#March2012
Bid On The Check That BOUGHT SUPERMAN. For A Cool $37,000.
You can buy the check that bought the rights to Superman. Now in my world in the Multiverse where I rule supreme atop a throne of golden Diet Dew cans, with Jennifer Lawrence a-clutching my perfectly chiseled biceps and cooing at me, this would give you the rights to the actual comic character.
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Video: Matt Stone On The MPAA Ratings Board’s Corruption.
With all the noise regarding the MPAA’s bullshit treatment of Bully, this video of Matt Stone laying into the board is pretty relevant. Diggin’ on it. I never really have stopped to think how absurd they are.
THE MILLION HIT PICNIC. WE’VE DONE IT.
Sometime whilst I slept during the night, dreaming of Jennifer Lawrence and liberal uses for gelatinous desserts, the Spaceship Omega quietly hummed across a threshold. While Sleep Ian was generating a point in the Multiverse where j-e-ll-o was sliding down nooks and crannies of Lawrence’s (praise be!) curvaceous body in a dimly lit but swank shaggin’ wagon, we hit a goal we had been anticipating for a while. We received our one-millionth unique page view.
‘THE AVENGERS’ Gets Official LEGO Poster. Cross-Marketing Synergy.
Pow! The Avengers get their plastic on in this official LEGO riff on the poster for the flick. Why am I posting this? I don’t know. It’s Saturday and shit. Drink your coffee and enjoy it.
US Army Recruits “Animal Bots”. It’s like Beast Wars, only real.
Some laboratory in Boston (represent!) has been hard at work with some ridiculously cool new tech for the army, including a “sand flea” that can hop 9 meters to avoid things, and a goddamn “cheetah” that reaches running speeds up to 30kph, the fastest robot speed ever recorded. I don’t know about you, but I need at least 10 of these. Each.
‘ROUTE 29 BATMAN’ Turns Out To Be Solid Dude. Duh, He’s The Bat.
We’ve all seen the pictures of that dude bombing about in Batman regalia. I figured he was something of an adorable sociopath, kicking lambs and goats and claiming they were infected by the Joker’s laughing virii. Much to my shock, he’s a pretty rad dude. No kicking.
Wrath of the Titans: The Quest For More Money
I’m currently on the AMTRAK, en route to the Big Apple, and just overheard the following conversation:
Person 1: Wanna go to the movies later?
Person 2: What do you wanna see?
Person 1: Remember the movie about the Greek gods and stuff? The guy from Avatar is in it. The sequel just came out. I really want to see it — it looks so good.
Despite my skepticism of Person 1’s ability to someday produce intelligent, contributing offspring, his enthusiasm for the film in question (“Wrath of the Titans”) gave me pause. Because, honestly? I haven’t seen a single commercial for it. I had to go to IMDB to make sure it was, like, an actual thing, and then I was like, “Rosamund Pike, why are you in this movie? You are better than this.”
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Video: Every Bat-Climb Window Cameo From ‘BATMAN 66’ In One Place. Holy Climbing, Rat Guy.
Back in the day, Batman and Robin climbed the shit out of buildings. Just a nice piece of rope between their thighs, relying upon the closeness of one another to ensure they climbed successfully. The gentle touch of Batman upon the small of Robin’s back. Whispering: we can make it. Woah! What happened. Anyways. They loved the shit out of climbing, and here in one place is every cameo from their climbing.
THIS WEEK ON Justified: Measures
Shit is getting real. The pieces on the board are inching closer towards checkmate. Soon enough we’ll see who’s still standing … ok, to be fair we’ll see how Raylan and Boyd put everyone else down. So prop up your feet, sit back, and let’s have a look see at this past week’s Justified.
Newly Discovered EXOPLANETS Are 13 Billion Years-Old. Big Bang Levels Of Old.
A mere 375 light-years away lurks the star HIP 11952 and its two planets. These days exoplanets are a dime a goddamn dozen, but these two are a bit on the special tip. Using their brain-cannons to calculate and tabulate, people smarter than me have dated these two pigs at nearly the same age as the Big Bang.
