OCTOBER 22nd, Sharks
“I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion.”
Sharks are perhaps the world’s oldest and most efficient killers. There is little difference between the prehistoric megalodon and today’s great white; it’s just smaller. We humans are without a doubt the rulers of the land, but the seas belong to the shark. With 70% or so of the Earth’s surface is water, what does that mean for who rules the planet?
There are over 9 species of sharks. That number seem low? It is. In fact there are roughly 360 different species of sharks on Earth. From the aforementioned great white to the illusive salsa shark these killing machines do two things. Eat and hunt.
You’ve no doubt heard the loaded stat that “X% of all shark attacks occur in three feet of water.” No shit, that’s where the fucking swimmers are. It’s like saying “100% of all bank robberies happen in banks.” While it’s true that sharks don’t hunt humans, that doesn’t mean they won’t kill us when we’re in the grasp.
The reason shark attacker are so brutal is because some sharks can have as many as 3,000 teeth at one time. Most of those teeth have jagged edges on them that rip and tear at its prey while in the grasp. Some people say that punching the shark in the eye or nose will make it release you. More often than not the shark is so surprised that something fights it, it lets go. It’s like landing a punch on Anderson Silva (Or Bruce Lee if you’re not into MMA). It happens so rarely that it stuns him.
Sharks have ingratiated themselves into our culture. They have a reputation that their tenacity. To call someone one a shark says that they are to be feared and respected. Hell, we have a whole dedicated to them on the Discovery Channel.
THE ANSWER: Shark attacks used to concern me as I saw Jaws at a young age and I used to swim in the ocean not too far from where it took place. Most of the man-eaters are in deeper waters. The easiest way to avoid shark attacks in not to avoid them in the water, but to avoid where their prey swims. If you’re in an area that is frequented by large schools of fish or by seals, you should probably move.