Despite all my lamenting about Fallout: New Vegas, last night had me running around out of my god damn mind. Giggling, like a motherfucking mad man. I have this issue where when I make someone explode with a violent weapon, it induces all sorts of insane glee in the bowels of my soul. Nothing makes me happier than launching a concussive blast sent to dismember and liquefy someone dumb enough to cross my path.
I noticed this dementia when playing through Fallout 3. I was playing the game while Mrs. Caffeine Powered looked on, and eventually I began to notice she looked worried. Shrug. I continued playing. But the fretting continued! What the fuck was this shit. She looked uncomfortable. At some point I noticed that every time I shot someone with my gauss rifle, the poor son of a bitch would be sorted into a bunch of bloodied and mushy parts. Smashed, vaporized, and sent flying through the air.
However, the next connection was even more important. Every single time that I ripped some errant douchebag apart with my rifle, I laughed. Out loud. To myself. Every single time. I don’t know why I was laughing out loud. You see, when I play by myself, usually these exploding bodies just make me smile. Broadly, and with empty, insane eyes.
Perhaps I was trying to convey my enthusiasm to my girlfriend. “You see honey! Do you see how they explode into bits! I did that! For you! Isn’t it fantastic? SAY YES OR I’LL HIDE YOUR BODY SO WELL.”
This sort of head-exploding nightmare dance party hadn’t really gotten underway in my playthrough of New Vegas. Until last night. Yes, last night I was finally reunited with my favorite wasteland friends: power armor, and a gauss rifle. It was a reunion drenched in blood and hugs. I suited up, loaded up, and shimmied my way through my pirouetting dance of death. Finally, New Vegas had begun to make sense to me.
Fire! Slow-motion explode. Body parts everywhere. Smile. Fire! Concussive blast liquiefying a body. Smile. Fire! My smile broadened and broadened. Life was good. I let it be known to frequent commenter The Dude exactly how I was feeling about my current situation in the Wasteland.
12:02:26 AM Ian: I’m clad in power armor, wielding a gauss rifle. I can hear the voice of god screaming murder.
Exceptional! There’s something about an exploding body that just speaks to me. It’s probably speaking to all the broken synapses held down and pinned into something resembling functioning by anti-psychotics, but who is keeping track? Those synapses need attention too.