What happened to Jack’s dad’s body?

It wasn’t in the coffin when Jack found the coffin that time, right? Am I correct in assuming then that, the Man In Black was taking the form of Christian the whole time, like he now has the form of Locke? So, why then do we get to see the reveal of Locke’s body in the coffin on the beach when Locke was supposed to be a Christian Shepherd substitute corpse on the Ajira flight that gets them back to the island? Shouldn’t Locke’s body have disappeared like Shepherd’s did?

I said it last night, and I’ll say it again today: fuck LA X in its alternate dimension asshole. I don’t care if David Shephard likes grape soda and Red Vines (+2 for Bubby for that one). Alright, we get it. Jack doesn’t want to act in the same way that his father acted when he was growing up and wants to try to change that. Redemption, changing things, free will, nachos with extra sour cream. Yada, yada, yada. I think it’s fair to say that all people give a fuck about at this point is what is going down on that crazy island because that’s what hooked us all for the past five years. What’s the STORY and HOW is it going to end?! JACOB. MAN IN BLACK. TEMPLE. Finish the goddamn plotline and start answering shit! Last week’s episode was pretty tight, but last night – while nowhere near as painful as “What Kate Does” – was still what I’d consider to be a bad episode. If it weren’t for Hurley’s comic relief and the running commentary from you four monkeys I would have been trying to gauge my eyeballs out and would have tried to convince you that we should watch Millionaire Matchmaker instead. And, wait, hold on, Dogen’s kid is at the same recital as Jack’s kid in LA X? Their paths cross in another dimension?! Must be…

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… DDEEEESSTTIIIINNNYYYY!

OK, anyway. So, on-island. Hurley is hilarious and is the only original character worth a damn at this point. Claire needs to wash her hair, Kate ruined the entire scene she was in because she was IN IT, Sayid asked two pretty obvious and meaningless questions that the viewer already knew about, and Jack lost his mind and started breaking shit. Some people will listen to someone in the back of a cab, but sometimes you just need to let them sit and stare out at the ocean after they break lots of glass for reasons yet unknown.

So, brother, here’s ANOTHER thing. LOST. Only. Has. THIRTEEN. HOURS. LEFT. EVER. Next week’s episode is going to be the turning point for me. If it’s as revealing as the previews hinted that it would be, I’ll keep watching the show in real-time with you and will happily leave you love letters in guise of episode commentary every Wednesday morning. But if it sucks and we’re stuck with at least 20 minutes per episode being wasted in LA X while shit on the island is boring and they’re not answering anything, I’m going to just DVR it and watch it at my leisure. Because, honestly, dude? I’m starting to become apathetic. We’re 108 episode hours in (yeah, I know that’s The Number but I don’t even care at this point) and the time for the slow burn and painfully slow and dramatic reveal is over. Put it in or pull it off.

Worst line of the LA X storyline last night? “I didn’t want you to see me fail”, said David to Jack in a super cheesy father-son scene. But aside from the cheesiness, I like the sideways storyline. It’ll come together in the end, hopefully.